all there!"

Of course I never explained to her, why I didn't care to smooch with Bob, or with any boys.

Beth, Bob and I often had record playing sessions in the living room. Mother was irked because I refused to dance with Bob. But she was delighted that Beth welcomed every opportunity to be held in his arms. I think Mother cherished the idea that one of us might marry Bob. Why she thought he would be a good husband, was something I never could understand. Even as a youngster he had been strong-willed and selfish. But Mother thought otherwise.

When Bob danced with my sister it was merely routine for him. But his eyes were hot when he looked me up and down, as he always did, every chance he had. Whether I wore slacks or skirts, it was the same. I knew Bob lusted me.

"If Bob looked at me the way he looks at you I'd pop out in goose-pimples," Beth told me. "You must be made of ice!"

"Oh no, I'm not," I replied. But of course, I could not explain that the hot look in his half-closed eyes. did nothing for me, because it would take someone of my own sex to cause me to blaze.

Hal Ransom, the boy my sister later married, had been interested in her for several years. But during this time she couldn't see anything attractive about him. Then all of a sudden at a swimming party something clicked between them. Beth forgot about Bob, and went all out for Hal, who was a Frank Sinatra type.

When Beth and Hal were dating, Bob thought he'd have a better chance to get me alone. But it didn't work out that way. Instead I saw him seldom.

It was at this time that I took a job as saleslady at Hansen's, and spent my evenings in my room. I went nowhere socially, except for a now and then Hen

Party given by the girls who worked with me. They urged me to go on dates with them and their boy friends. They wanted to get a boy friend for me. But I only laughed, thanked them, and stayed at home. I was often alone, but never lonely because I had my secret dreams.

When Beth and Hal were living in married bliss under the same roof with me, Bob supposed I'd be influenced in his favor. But I wasn't. Though to tell you the truth I realized that for me, dreams were no longer enough.

At night, alone in my room, I used to suffer. I knew Beth had the one she loved in bed beside her. I knew their arms entwined and their lips met. I was so terribly love-hungry! I didn't want a man. But oh God! everything in me, mind, body and soul cried out for a mate of my own-my kind of a girl! A girl who would want me as much as I wanted her.

Then when Jan came into my life, Bob was faced with a collapse of his plans to win my interest. He had never taken frustration nobly. There was no reason to suppose that he would do so now.

Because Jan and I spent much time together, aside from our working hours at the store, Bob resented it. He was hostile to Jan. He'd strut around in front of her, and take a possessive attitude where I was concerned. But it never bothered Jan. She knew where she stood with me.

from

Sometimes when Bob was really obnoxious to Jan, I'd have tears in my eyes. I'd try to get her where he was, as soon as possible.

away

I remember the first time it happened. On the verge of weeping I told Jan that I didn't want Bob around, but Mother, Beth and Hal made him welcome. Jan smiled a slow, understanding smile.

"Don't let him faze you," she advised. "It's just male ego. Poor Bob. I can't blame him for adoring